[UT] [UT] How do I take legal action against my father for abusing and abandoning my mother?
What do you do when your father comes into a settlement and he’s completely cut you and your mom off? They've been married for almost 40 years. He won’t give her any money because she associates with me. He’s abandoned her since being arrested for assaulting her. What can be done to help my mother retrieve some of that money? She’s struggling with health issues and he’s been very abusive to her.
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Here's a breakdown of possible legal steps:
1. Divorce or Legal Separation
- Spousal Support (Alimony): After a 40-year marriage, she may be eligible for alimony, especially due to health issues and financial dependence. (Utah Code Ann. § 81-4-502)
- Property Division: If the settlement came during the marriage, it might be considered marital property. Courts can divide it.
- Abandonment: May support a more favorable division for her. (Utah Code Ann. § 30-3-1(3))
- Constructive Abandonment: Abuse making it unsafe to stay strengthens her position.
- Action Steps: Consult a divorce attorney and gather evidence (marriage duration, dependency, abandonment, settlement source).
2. Temporary Spousal Maintenance
If divorce isn’t yet filed, she can seek interim financial support.
3. Protective Order & Restitution
If he was arrested for assault, she can:
- Seek a protective order that may include financial provisions.
- Request restitution through the criminal court.
4. Financial Abuse Claims
Hiding money or cutting off financial support can be considered financial abuse (especially in states like California or Utah). A forensic accountant may be needed.
5. Civil Lawsuit for Damages
Possible claims: assault, emotional distress, financial exploitation. A contingency-fee attorney might take the case.
Action Steps:
- Contact a family law/domestic violence attorney.
- Reach out to local domestic violence organizations for resources.
- Document abuse, financial records, medical issues, etc.
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What do you do when your father comes into a settlement and he’s completely cut you and your mom off? They've been married for almost 40 years. He won’t give her any money because she associates with me. He’s abandoned her since being arrested for assaulting her. What can be done to help my mother retrieve some of that money? She’s struggling with health issues and he’s been very abusive to her.
Tony Attorney
Hi there! I’m Tony, an attorney with many years of experience. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother’s situation.
Tony Attorney
Here's a breakdown of possible legal steps:
1. Divorce or Legal Separation
- Spousal Support (Alimony): After a 40-year marriage, she may be eligible for alimony, especially due to health issues and financial dependence. (Utah Code Ann. § 81-4-502)
- Property Division: If the settlement came during the marriage, it might be considered marital property. Courts can divide it.
- Abandonment: May support a more favorable division for her. (Utah Code Ann. § 30-3-1(3))
- Constructive Abandonment: Abuse making it unsafe to stay strengthens her position.
- Action Steps: Consult a divorce attorney and gather evidence (marriage duration, dependency, abandonment, settlement source).
2. Temporary Spousal Maintenance
If divorce isn’t yet filed, she can seek interim financial support.
3. Protective Order & Restitution
If he was arrested for assault, she can:
- Seek a protective order that may include financial provisions.
- Request restitution through the criminal court.
4. Financial Abuse Claims
Hiding money or cutting off financial support can be considered financial abuse (especially in states like California or Utah). A forensic accountant may be needed.
5. Civil Lawsuit for Damages
Possible claims: assault, emotional distress, financial exploitation. A contingency-fee attorney might take the case.
Action Steps:
- Contact a family law/domestic violence attorney.
- Reach out to local domestic violence organizations for resources.
- Document abuse, financial records, medical issues, etc.
Yes, he’s hiding money. He’s done it their whole marriage. She’s in Utah. He supports my siblings but ignores us. He’s abusive to both of us.
Tony Attorney
In Utah, hiding marital assets can be considered financial misconduct under Utah Code Ann. § 30-3-5. Courts aim for equitable distribution, and this kind of conduct can affect the outcome.
I figured there was something that could be done. He has always been abusive to her and to me, and he's always kept his finances a secret from her. He lost our family home and failed to tell anyone that it was happening until they served my mother with a 3-day vacate notice. And he was fired from his job for failing a drug test. All his actions have led up to my mother's hardship over the last four years.
I also want to file a lawsuit agaist my dad for mental duress throughout my life that's caused me trauma that's affected my life severely in all areas.
Tony Attorney
I'm so sorry for your suffering. You’re asking whether a parent can be sued in civil court for trauma caused to a child?
Yes, because the trauma has affected my quality of life—mental health, jobs, relationships.
Tony Attorney
I’m so sorry. Childhood trauma causes deep, lasting harm. Can you tell me:
- How long the abuse lasted?
- Was it sexual?
- What state did it occur in?
Utah. It was mental, emotional, and physical—no sexual abuse.
Tony Attorney
Thank you. Unfortunately, Utah law does not clearly allow adult children to sue for non-sexual childhood abuse unless it meets criminal statutes like assault or battery. Civil claims may be limited by statutes of limitations.
You can check Utah's laws here:
Tony Attorney
Here are some final notes:
- For your mother: Divorce, protective orders, or financial abuse claims offer her the most direct path to relief.
- For you: Civil lawsuits for emotional trauma are difficult unless tied to provable legal claims, and time limits apply.
- Support: Look into domestic violence shelters and legal aid in Utah for advocacy, safety planning, and legal help.
Tony Attorney
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